Resolutions
I have some New Year’s resolutions.
Despite naturally having no resolve, I have never been able to resist the allure of resolution season, much in the same way that the tone deaf and mildly psychotic cannot resist the allure of X-Factor auditions. We all have dreams.
Typically, my #1 resolution is to stop biting my fingernails. This only happened once, while I was at university, because I think that was the only time in my life when I wasn’t bored. Others will vary: last year’s primary goal was to be mess neutral, which obviously was doomed to failure. One year I had a list of approx. 35 resolutions, including learning to break-dance, because Robert and I had spent New Year’s Eve spinning on our backs on wooden floors, listening to musical soundtracks. I’m not entirely sure musicals and break-dancing go together, but if the dance phenomenon of Mu-Hop ever broke out, I’d like to be in the vanguard. Or at least I would if I’d kept the resolution.
This year, I’m keeping it simple.
Resolution #1: To post on blog twice a week
Chance of happening: 0%
It’s quite some time since I posted anything at all, and now to declare I will do something that would amount to a total of 100 posts over a single year sounds rather unlikely doesn’t it? Yes, I agree. However, there is something that niggles at me that it’s useful to have a drivel outlet, and anyway, I will endeavour to cheat as much as possible. Expect a vast array of bi-weekly single-line entries such as “My Favourite Palindrome” and “Good Lesbian Films.”
Resolution #2: To do some exercise. Like, maybe once.
Chance of happening: 50%
Somewhere between the sluggish, blubbery masses and the maniacal, hardcore gym evangelists, there is a golden sub-section of the population with a healthy glow, that partakes in wholesome physical activities, possibly in white vests and shorts akin to a wartime keep-fit film. Possibly a Nazi one. Anyway, there is vigorous frolicking aplenty going on in this country, to which I am not party.
These people talk about how their bizarre physical activities make them feel good and give them energy, which obviously makes me highly suspicious. However, I am curious, and the potential benefits seem good enough that I really should try to exercise at least once this year, to remind myself what it feels like.
Resolution #3: Abandon comfortable yet tedious middle-class lifestyle and blow savings travelling round America for 6-12 months.
Chance of happening: 100%
Compared to the previous two, this one looks rather ambitious, doesn’t it? It’s rather less ambition and more necessity. I shall talk about this more another time.
So how much alcohol was involved in the creation of Mu-Hop? Relatedly, everyone knows the best Jay-Z song is Hard Knock Life, so there is possibly a market for this genre of dance.
Your first two resolutions are almost practical goals, both of which could be met when the big escape plan is implemented, assuming you have biweekly internet access. It’s also important to remember that activities such as running to catch the bus and fake break dancing totally count as exercise.
When you have the words and time, I want to know everything about number three.
Molly
4th of January, 2011 at 6:35 am
I have actually jogged-ish to get a bus recently, though sadly not this year. I only take the bus these days when I am too late to get into town on foot – just one of many examples where being lazy and late ends up with unexpectedly healthy consequences. The sum of those consequences are, I believe, the only reason I am still alive.
My opinion of Jay-Z has sky-rocketed now that you mention Hard Knock Life. I can really envisage Snoop Dogg doing something interesting with The Deadwood Stage.
#3 will be dealt with as soon as either a) I determine how to write things of a personal nature without giving too much away, or, b) get impatient and don’t care.
messneutral
4th of January, 2011 at 7:02 am
[...] At this point I should probably mention that I quit work for a year and shifted my inactivity to a different continent, just like I said I would. [...]
Mess International « Mess Neutral
17th of October, 2011 at 6:03 pm